Okay, My boyfriend Billybob has wanted me to write beauty tips for a long time now so here I am. I'm bored to death here in the gyno office waiting to put my titties in the pancake maker so maybe it's a good time. The two Redbooks are about 400 years old and the old guy across the waiting room is looking strait at my legs and getting his fruit of the loons in a wad. Hmmmm, I wonder if they had sex toys back when these were published? Anyway. Why the screw would a woman bring her boyfriend to the gynos office? I mean of all the screwing places in the world that are romantic this ant one of them!! Maybe they are going to bond a little??? Probably Dr Phil recommended it. Bonding my butt!! The only kind of bonding that I want to see is the bonding that goes on between Dr Phil and Oprah after the show!! Can you imagine that??? He would say something like: "You know, Oprah, I think that you have a sex addiction and Ole Phil is here to help..... Anyhow, bringing your boyfriend to the gyno's office sounds like a major kink to me!! So here I sit, knees so tight together that I could crack a screwing walnut. Thinking maybe I should open them up for the old guy. I would just to see his face. But he would probably croak out. Which would really slow things down. You know. Women freaking out. Screaming call 911 and acting like they are about to die or something.
Anyway, beauty tips. Hmmmm. #1. Don't drop your screwing makeup in the pot. And if you do, don't be a real woman and flush it. It will stop up the pot everytime and then what? You have to call the plumber who will fish it out for you and then try to charge you about the price of a new car. Screw!! What do they think this is a money machine??? And then the plumber always hits on you.. Which would not be so bad but he weights about 400 pounds Hmmm. I'm drifting again, .... Oh yea!! Beauty tips. Probably the best and quickest way to make yourself look better is Arbonne Cosmetcs.
Just follow the link and look for the "SHOP ONLINE" button and go to town! Hey. If you want a 30% discount on everthing, think about becoming an Arbonne consultant.